Seriously, Auburn, is THIS Your Splash?

After the "resignation" of Tommy Tuberville, the feeling of many Auburn fans was that the Tigers needed to make a "big splash" hire with their next head coach.

Names such as Turner Gill, Skip Holtz, and Will Muschamp floated around the Plains for days, but there was never any action.

One reaction from The Bunker message board on Auburnsports.com, the Tigers' Rivals' site, was quite upset yesterday morning about the lack of a hire.

"At this point in the coaching party, Auburn is the sloppy girl on the couch drunk dialing all the exes she can find in her cell phone."

Apparently she finally called the guy who wasn't quite over her yet.

On Saturday, the news broke that Gene Chizik, former Auburn defensive coordinator and Iowa State head coach, would be hired by Auburn to take over the football program.

Before we go into the reaction, let's look at the "splash factor" of Chizik compared to the other men mentioned above.

• Will Muschamp: Had he left his post at Texas to return to Auburn, this would have been a good rally for the Tigers. Muschamp's defense was one of the best in the Big XII this season and is still highly thought of in Auburn. He is a Tuberville protege and had some of the nastiest defenses in the SEC during his time. Not to mention he was 2-0 against both Alabama and Florida. Splash factor: Soaking the tanning sorority girls on the side of the pool, but attractive enough that they smile instead of yell.
• Turner Gill: The Buffalo coach took the job in New York as a man who had never heard of the university. Since his arrival, he has doubled the Bulls win total in FBS and won a conference championship. He will be guiding the Bulls to their first attended bowl game in school history and only the second invite in school history. To say he is one of the hottest coaches in college football would be an understatement. Splash factor: Big enough to make your friends jealous.
• Skip Holtz: After being the college football sweetheart of the early season at East Carolina, the Pirates were brought back down to earth. Nonetheless, Holtz's team beat Virginia Tech, the ACC Champ. The Holtz was a hot candidate for Syracuse, but reportedly pulled his name out of contention because Auburn came calling. Splash factor: As wet as you would be by standing in front of his father while he talked.
• Gene Chizik: Chizik has been at Iowa State for the past two seasons, his first head coaching job of his career. He has a Big XII and SEC Championship to his name as a defensive coordinator, but has not had that success as a head coach. After two seasons, Chizik is 5-19 as a head coach and was #3 on the coacheshotseat.com rankings before Auburn snatched him away from Iowa State. Splash factor: A faucet leak in a room of the house no one visits, so it drives up your water bill.

So what has the reaction be so far? Well, it hasn't been too good.

Alabama fans were enjoying the news all day, with the responses coming quick and painful for Auburn fans.

One facebook status read,"2007: 3-9 2008: 2-10 2009: War Damn Eagle!" Another responded to the hire with, "Gene Chizik: Cause five wins in one season are too many."

The Tigers' faithful couldn't look to their own for reassurance that things would be alright in the Loveliest Village, either.

For starters, none of the recruits know a thing about Chizik. Jamie Collins, an Athlete from Mississippi, was told of the hire and responded with, "I don't know him, I've never talked to him-I've never even heard of him."

When Collins learned of Chizik's record at Iowa State, his response wasn not inspiring. "That's not attractive," he said.

Just under an hour ago, Collins decommitted from Auburn. "I'm decommitting from Auburn," said Collins. "I'm going to open things up and see what happens." Collins makes a total of seven decommits for the Auburn recruiting class since it was announced that Tuberville would not return in 2009.

The Auburn family reaction wasn't any better. Al Del Greco was quick and to the point. "No comment."

Cole Cubelic, a former Auburn lineman, was not very impressed with the hire.

"I have a lot of respect for the guy. But you look at his track record as a head coach and you have to scratch your head and wonder what Auburn was doing and why they think it's a good move."

Then, there was this response to Jacobs and Chizik returning to Auburn. Go to about the :35 second mark.

Quite the contrast to Nick Saban's arrival in Tuscaloosa just two short years ago.

And then there was former coach Pat Dye's reaction.

Dye called Chizik "a heck of a football coach, a solid guy. There's not a finer individual, character-wise."

Paul Clark of CycloneReport.com, Iowa State's Rivals' site, who has covered Chizik for the past two years, has a different view of Auburn's new coach.

Finally, now that we know who Auburn's coach his, let's look at the Tigers 2009 Schedule.

The Tigers play Ball State, West Virginia, Furman and Southern Miss out of conference, all at home. The Auburn SEC slate has the Tigers hosting Ole Miss, Alabama, Mississippi State, and Kentucky. They hit the road to take on Arkansas, Tennessee, Georgia, and LSU.

Ok, now lets look at it this way. Auburn just hired Gene Chizik, a 5-19 career coach, to annually play Les Miles, Bobby Petrino, Houston Nutt, Mark Richt, and Nick Saban.

But don't worry, Auburn fans, Steve Spurrier rotates on the schedule in 2010, and then Urban Meyer and the Gators in 2011.

That's right, in 2011, Auburn will face Alabama, Arkansas, Ole Miss, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, and LSU.

In the two years leading up to that schedule, Auburn can only hope Chizik has them at 5-19, and Jay Jacobs can only hope he has a job then as well.