That is, until I was alerted to an opinion column in today's Crimson White concerning basketball. You can read it here.
Considering my stature and overall over-the-top support of Alabama Basketball, I was excited to read said column.
I soon regretted having such aspirations for this column by Wesley Vaughn.
You see, many students who are avid basketball fans often feel slighted by the Crimson White's coverage of the team. I have had many students tell me that the CW revels in the team losing and can't write a decent article in support of the team.
Vaughn's slaughtering of anything and all basketball did not help.
For starters, his Facebook box says, "Sarcasm is my defense for not knowing anything." This actually explains everything.
(For those wondering how I know this? From his Facebook. Don't act like you haven't looked me up once in a while after some things I write. You are going straight to hell if you say you have never Facebook investigated a writer, football player, or potential blind date to your roommate's girlfriend's sorority formal.)
Now, before I destroy said column, I must point out the places that I agree with Mr. Vaughn.
- I agree that "the basketball team has underwhelmed the past few years."
That's all.
For starters, the attempt at humor in this article is beyond poor. Having to explain jokes in parentheses takes away from said joke and in Vaughn's case, makes the joke worse than it actually was to begin with.
Wondering "why we put our faith in a man with two first names" before calling out John Kerry and calling Florida "soon-to-be-named the University of Tim Tebow" shows that you do, in fact, know nothing about Alabama Basketball.
Going further to say he (Grant) "should implement" an up-tempo style, that under Gottfried "the team lacked any style or scheme," and that this team "still lacks a center" just supports the fact I stated at the end of the last paragraph about you. (By the way, while I'm on it, note how parentheses are supposed to be used, Mr. Vaughn. Our coaches name is not meant to induce humor in that situation through clarification. Its JUST clarification.)
First off, if Vaughn did any research before his column, he would know that Grant has already stated this up-tempo style will be coming to Tuscaloosa. Second, Gottfried did have a scheme and it was called the UCLA high post. The reason it didn't work is because Richard Hendrix is not Bill Walton and Andy Katz told the entire country our offense during the Mani Invitational last season. Ok, who am I kidding, if the nine year-olds to my right at basketball games know what we are running, even John Brady could figure it out.
Ok, no he didn't. It was known by everyone already because the second play in Gottfried's playbook was to inbounds the ball over half court to [insert whichever former Alabama point guard who left Alabama early to get away from Gottfried].
Third, Vaughn obviously has no clue that a center in basketball is going the way of media on the floor in Coleman Coliseum. Very few teams still play with a true center anymore, and I am willing to be that Vaughn had no earthly idea that JaMychal Green was a five-star recruit who plays as Alabama's center. He certainly doesn't know that Green has gotten bigger since his freshman season last year since, well, he hasn't heard from Grant's first presser that he will in fact be using an up-tempo style.
Pressing forward beyond what most people I have talked to could stomach, Vaughn second-guesses the naming of the group openly.
Its obvious this self-proclaimed "sports fanatic" isn't enough of one to be on the UA Athletic email list to receive the instructions about how the name would be selected. Going with Crimson Chaos would be a permanent name. And relate more with basketball? Wouldn't a sports fanatic realize that the upgrades to Coleman are lipstick on a pig in a half-buried beer keg?
There is nothing to support what it should be called, Wesley. Your opinion is obviously far-fetched to begin with.
After all this shady, opinionated garbage, Vaughn takes the cake in his final claim. bviously, I have already sipped the Anthony Grant Kool-Aid (sugar-intense strawberry flavored, if you were wondering [Actually, Wesley, I didn't give a $#^t.]) Can you blame me though?He can only improve our over-shadowed and historically non-competitive program."
Are you kidding me?!?!?! Alabama has arguably the second-best history in the SEC when it comes to Basketball.
The Crimson Tide own the second-most SEC titles to Kentucky. Sure, Alabama hasn't made a final four while teams such as LSU, Florida, and Mississippi State have, but that's not all that matters.
Alabama has put plenty of players into the NBA over the past two decades, most coming before 2005.
According to Jeff Sagarin, who's computer poll is one of six in the BCS, has Alabama has the No. 43 All-Time program in college basketball, behind Kentucky, Arkansas and Tennessee (somehow), and ahead of Vanderbilt, Florida, Mississippi State, and UAB.
Alabama is a respectable basketball program, but many people, such as Wesley, have their heads too far up their rears to realize this.
I am glad that Mr. Vaughn is already sipping the Kool-Aid of coach Grant. Maybe he can learn what a jump shot is when he visits Coleman on Wednesday.
4 comments:
From the man himself:
"Vaughn's slaughtering of anything and all basketball did not help."
-I chronicled Grant's history correctly and I chronicled our history correctly. What are you talking about?
Do you not think we can turn our basketball team around over the next few years?
Really, Facebook? Then you use parentheses before making fun of using parentheses. Great rebuttal!
Also, way to take my "two first names" quote way out of context.
I edited the lame "University of Tim Tebow joke," but it was not edited in the paper version.
Sorry that I tried to use a little bit of humor to get people to read about our forgotten basketball team.
I do applaud you for finding a Great way to support the team though by attacking a fellow fan and promoter.
Try reading the whole thing now, my friend. You did butcher a whole lot of stuff.
No where do I say the basketball program can't be turned around.
As for promoting the team: you second guess the student section name, which being a member of the Managing Board of the group, I find offensive, you say our team is as lost in the woods on this campus as much as the NHL is in a SportsCenter block, and then down grade the program's history.
What support do you offer besides your title and closing?
Honestly, your sarcasm is daunting.
After reading the updated version, I understand some of your points better.
About the satire: I am sorry that misused parentheses so horribly. My updated version (not in the CW) doesn't use them as much or in the same way. My final edit didn't make the paper though.
My satire is much more understandable and readable online, where I can link things. I hate writing for dead print.
I would have loved to go more in depth about basketball, really. But I was/am restricted by the word count and the fact that my column is in the Opinions section, not the Sports section.
About the lack of style or scheme thing: I understand what Gottfried coached/implemented. But did they implement it well? Not really. Did it end up looking like a style-less team at times? I think you can argue that.
When I said "should implement", I meant as if he was already implementing it and it would be in the first game.
Most of the details you mention correctly are, as you admit, over the heads of most CW readers.
It’s not my fault that most wouldn’t even know who Green is, let alone what position he plays.
About the student section name: I love Crimson Chaos, seriously. I just like Coleman Chaos for the specificity. I really wasn't trying to attack the name at all, and I do understand Coleman's state.
Sorry about describing the Kool-Aid, didn't know it would be curse-inducing.
I loved the non-referenced twitter quote.
Did I overstate how much our program is over-shadowed and non-historic? Probably.
The NHL analogy: Is the NHL over-shadowed by whatever sport season coincides with it? Yes. Is our basketball team over-shadowed by the football team? Yes.
That was all I was trying to infer. It could have been better, I get it.
Non-historic statement: I meant it more in a NCAA tournament light. I didn't mean to say that our team has sucked since the dawn of time. I understand how you may have read it that way.
Sorry if I offended anyone in anyway. I really didn’t mean to start anything with the column or these responses.
I promise that next time I write something about the basketball team it will be in the sports section with more research and analysis. I can’t promise that it will lack sarcasm though.
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